So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
