true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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