if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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