i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
