a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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