I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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