I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
