No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
