how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
