you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
