I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
