We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
