Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
