Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize