is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I will be naked everywhere
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
