worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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