you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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