literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
