I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
