No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
