You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
