tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
