It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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