she was so not down for the gang bang
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I love you. Go after that dick
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
