She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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