I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
