My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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