Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize