im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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