im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
