I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
