East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
barbara walters just said penis...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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