did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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