i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
