Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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