I heard we made out
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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