She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
