I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
