dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We're too hungover to prance.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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