Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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