I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
