brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
