you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
