you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize