We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
what is it with giant penises always finding me
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
