Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
