I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
