your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
