No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize