If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
