Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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