at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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