i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Green mimosas i think yes
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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