What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
