just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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