just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
