So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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