My hand turned me down
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
