Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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