dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
she peed on how many people?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
