Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
my poor anus
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
