Don't you send me to vm
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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