your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize