Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
