Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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