He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
