So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
