I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
