I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
