Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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