Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
operation harelip BJ is a go
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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