Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I have post one night stand depression
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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