dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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